How to negotiate contracts successfully

Dear WW: I’d like the people in my company to do a better job of negotiating contracts with our customers, but most of the materials I’ve seen on negotiating are very complex. Can you suggest a simpler guide to negotiations? NEGOTIATING OUR WAY

Dear NEGOTIATING,

Merle Crossman filed a lawsuit against his fire insurance company claiming they owed him $75,000 for his house that recently burned down. There was only one problem: he filed the lawsuit from the jail where he’s serving a sentence for burning down his house. Mr. Crossman maintained that since he pleaded “no contest” to the fire he was still entitled to the insurance payments.

Unfortunately, he’s not alone in practicing slash and burn negotiation tactics. It’s important to help your people identify the keys to a successful negotiation and how to work with the other party to achieve an outcome that benefits both sides. I’ve identified the three most important areas in a negotiation along with strategies to and strategies for both sides to get what they need in each of these areas. For more information on negotiaions, check out “The Only Negotiation Guide You’ll Ever Need” by Stark & Flaherty (Broadway, 2003).

Time. A huge number of problems in negotiations can be traced back to the two sides operating on different timeframes. That’s why it’s so important to establish a mutually agreeable timeframe right from the start. Stark & Flaherty also taught me a very important fact about the timeframe of a negotiation. Most concessions and settlements occur in the last 20% of the time allowed. So they advise not trying to push too hard, too early for agreement. Agreements need time to develop.

Information. Unfortunately information is often like a needle in a haystack during a negotiation. You’ve got to sift through a lot of stuff that doesn’t matter to find the one or two key issues that do. You can give this process a boost by asking the other party what information they need and doing what you can to give it to them. And then encourage them to provide you the information that you’ll need. Most negotiations use information as a weapon, set a different tone in your negotiations by turning information into a tool that both sides can get access to.

Power. There are many different types of power in a negotiation-political, historical, positional, financial, cultural, etc. Rarely does one side hold all the power, if for no other reason than it would be to their benefit to work out an agreement with the other party. it’s also common for one each side to have areas where they have a lot of power and other areas where they are lacking. It’s important to learn about your own sources of power and the power that the other side possesses and then to harness it to the benefit of both sides.

Properly leverage these three variables and your team won’t burn any bridges in your next negotiation.

Working Wounded poll:

Which best describes your negotiation strategy at work?

• Hardball, 17.9%
• Softball, 55.1%
• Curveball, 26.9%

Working Wounded strategy:

Our winning strategy for negotiating comes from Jim C. in Los Angeles, CA. “It is like the old lawyer rule, don’t ever ask a question that you don’t already know the answer to. In a negotiation you should do enough homework so that you know what’s going on before they ever open their mouth. Go on the Internet, talk to people and read everything that you can about the people you’ll be negotiating with. Do your homework, that’s my secret.”

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. Sherrie Campbell is a relationship and business professional, having applied her counseling background in a variety of challenging organizational settings. They’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than they do. Also check out their complete column archive at workmash.org, “The Boss’s Survival Guide” and “Gray Matters: The workplace survival guide.” Send your questions or comments to bob@workmash.org.

How to get the most out of a negotiation

Dear WW: I’ve got a big negotiation coming up and I’m really rusty. I haven’t negotiated a contract in decades. Any chance that I could get a quick refresher course? RUSTY

Dear RUSTY,

We can all learn something about negotiations from Doug Stead. In 1996 he got a speeding ticket for $75.

He was incensed because the evidence against came from a camera mounted along the highway. He sued to prove that it should take more than a photo to send him to court. After paying over $75,000 in court costs, Doug has now depleted much of his families savings. Reminds me of the song, “I fought the law and the law won.”

In negotiations, many of us are more like Mr. Stead then we’d care to admit. We get hung up in making a point and lose sight of the bigger picture. This applies at in negotiations, at work and in outside of work. I’ve listed some tips below to help you keep things in perspective next time you need to negotiate. For more, check out “Pushing the Envelope” Harvey McKay (Ballantine, 1998).

Do you see the negotiation as a partnership or a war? It’s a pity that so many negotiation “experts” are stuck on using war and sports metaphors. War is hell, but a negotiation doesn’t have to be. Go in with a different mindset and you’ll often find your more collegial attitude pays off. One way to do this…

Can you leave something on the table? I think this is the best place to start, consciously exploring how you can make the other side look good. Since most business relationships are more than a one shot deal, it’s dangerous to focus just on winning. I know that “win-win” is a horribly over-used term, but look for places to make the other side look good.

Do you avoid fighting over each detail? A negotiation is the sum of many parts. So resist the temptation to go nuclear on each specific detail that you’ve got to negotiate over. See it as a package where you need to give ground on some areas to get what’s most important to you in others. Once you adopt this attitude you’ll be surprised to find how often things that are important to you are less important to them, and visa versa.

Do you take your time? Negotiations are seldom a sprint. That’s why it’s so important to take time to learn about the person and organization that you’re negotiating with. A small amount of bonding on the front end can save a lot of pain later.

Do you avoid talking “out of school”? Remember there is a difference between being collegial and chatty, be very careful about what information that you share with the other side. To quote an old phrase, “Loose lips sink ships.”

Remember, you won’t be in good stead if you follow Mr. Stead’s approach. Rather, use the advice above as your ticket to a better result.

Online Ballot and Contest

Here are the results from a recent workingwounded.com/ABCnews.com online ballot: What is your secret to successful negotiations?

–Try harder, 42.1%

–Try softer, 37.5%

–Try to find someone else to do the negotiation, 20.3%

Working Wounded strategy:

Our winning strategy for successful negotiations comes from Bill S. in Cyberspace. “Most people view negotiations through the lens of a ‘zero sum game,’ which can lead to ‘us v.s. them’ and either/or thinking. Conversely, ‘both/and’ approaches tend to be more cooperative and less confrontational, and thus allow for outcomes which make everyone in the negotiation better off.  They can also be quite creative, although often requiring a negotiator to have taken the time to understand what motivates the folks on the other side of the table!”

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. Sherrie Campbell is a relationship and business professional, having applied her counseling background in a variety of challenging organizational settings. They’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than they do. Also check out their complete column archive at workmash.org, “The Boss’s Survival Guide” and “Gray Matters: The workplace survival guide.” Send your questions or comments to bob@workmash.org.

What to do if a coworker betrays you

Dear WW: I’ve worked closely with a guy for ten years. Recently I discovered he screwed me by telling our boss about a confidential conversation we had. I really want to tell him off but I’m afraid that might be stupid. TICKED

Dear TICKED,

I’ll never forget the first time I was in the newspaper. I’d pitched the paper on covering a project I was working on and they’d bit. There I was-two columns plus a photo above the fold on the front page. Was I proud . . . until two days later when I went to the market to buy some fish. I got home, opened the newspaper they’d wrapped the fish in, and guess who’s picture was staring up at me? Yup. From celebrity to fish wrap overnight.

Hard as it was to stomach, I realized there’s a point at which all news becomes old news. And the same is true for you. I’m not saying swallow your feelings and pretend nothing happened. But you probably should consider approaching him unemotionally and then move on. See the questions below, then check out Dennis & Michella Reina’s book, “Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace” (Berrett Kohler, 1999).

Can you stifle that impulse toward revenge? Twice now I’ve had major blow-ups with people who later became good colleagues and friends. Did I want them to “sleep with the fishes” at the time? You bet. But I managed not to, and gradually the rifts between us healed. You’re not ready to offer an olive branch now, but if you can refrain from doing something harmful, there’s a chance this fellow may eventually regain your trust.

Can you talk to him about what happened? The first step in repairing the relationship is talking. First, you need to tell him how you feel- calmly. Second, you need to hear his side of the story. Who knows? Maybe there were mitigating factors. Maybe he knows he goofed and can admit it.

Can you let go of a grudge? Born and raised in Jersey, I can hold a grudge with the best of them. But an email I received recently pointed out how pathetic that can be. The emailer was complaining because she’d been passed over for a job seven years earlier. SEVEN YEARS! I thought, doesn’t this woman have better things to worry about than this bit of ancient history? Her grudge was poisoning her entire relationship with her company, and in fact, her entire life. Even if you can’t forgive, (I told her and myself), there’s a point at which you should forget.

Can you still trust others? When you get crossed by someone you trust, it’s easy to lose faith in humankind. Resist that temptation. Don’t let your other friends and colleagues get tainted by one bad apple.

Face it. You’re all wrapped up in your anger now, but you and your betrayer both need to air your feelings, because workplace conflicts are like fish. The longer they sit, the stinkier they get.

Working Wounded poll:

How do you deal with a coworker who betrays you?

• Revenge is the best revenge, 15.1%
• Living well (and never mentioning it) is the best revenge, 37.9%
• Letting them know that you know is the best revenge. 46.8%

Working Wounded strategy:

Our winning strategy for dealing with someone who betrays you at work comes from Debra S. in Austin, TX. “I’ve been betrayed, and unfortunately, have betrayed (I’ve never forgotten how that crow tasted, and I’ve never made the same mistake again). Now when I’m betrayed I step back and see why they might have done it, who else was involved, and what factors may have contributed. Often, it’s not personal. The person who betrayed me may have been trying to win points or look ‘in the know.’ But by betraying me, they’ve given me insight into what motivates them, as well as their character flaws. I try to remove the emotion from the situation to decide if I want to fight. Remember that your coworkers and managers aren’t dumb–they probably know that this person has betrayed a coworker and they’ll remember that.”

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. Sherrie Campbell is a relationship and business professional, having applied her counseling background in a variety of challenging organizational settings. They’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than they do. Also check out their complete column archive at workmash.org, “The Boss’s Survival Guide” and “Gray Matters: The workplace survival guide.” Send your questions or comments to bob@workmash.org.

How to become more persuasive at work

Dear WW: My team doesn’t pay attention to my suggestions. What can I do to gain their respect? THE PURSUASIONS, NOT

Dear NOT,

Ketchup is back on top! Perhaps you remember this saucy headline from a few years ago: “Salsa scorches ketchup to become America’s #1 condiment.” Well, it was true. Ketchup sales had seriously thinned. And not for the reasons you might have guessed. It wasn’t due to demographic shifts; Ricky Martin and Jennifer Lopez had nothing to do with it. Salsa got hot, according to the president of Heinz, because the marketing of ketchup was “neglected.”

Well, the tables have turned. Ketchup marketers have been working hard and through a glut of commercials, ads and promotions, they’ve returned ketchup to its position of prominence on the American countertop. Now, it seems, you could use a similar campaign. The strategies below will help you pinpoint the reasons for your own decline and help you work your way to the top. For more, check out Jay Conger’s book “Winning ‘Em Over” (Simon & Schuster, 1998).

Ask for honest feedback. Before you can bolster your credibility you have to know where it’s lacking. Start with an honest self-appraisal: what are your strengths and weaknesses? Ask others, both on and off your team. Once you’ve identified the areas where your credibility is weak, get training or experience, or find a mentor in those areas. It’s also useful to consult with experts before your meetings. Saying, “I checked with Roger in Operations …” can only strengthen your position.

Specialize. As a vegetable, ketchup failed (remember that Reagan fiasco?). As a condiment it’s #1. You’ve got to specialize, too. Become knowledgeable in one or two areas and leave the rest of your team’s work to others.

Sell the hole, not the drill. Salespeople call it “benefit sales,” focusing on the advantages of using a product rather than the features of the product itself. You can do the same. Instead of selling the details of your ideas, emphasize the benefits that will accrue if they are adopted.

Avoid the hard sell. Sure, some people are addicted to QVC, but most people hate the hard sell. So instead of giving a sales pitch, draw your teammates out. Learn what it will take to win them to your position, then speak directly to their concerns.

Compromise. Look for ways you can craft solutions that mesh your teammates’ ideas with your own. They’ll be more apt to adopt your approach if it includes their own.

Go for the gut. Facts get you to the table, but emotions close the deal. So, first, try to forge an emotional connection with your teammates. Then, play to their emotions when you try to sell your ideas.

Be quiet. One way to lose credibility is to talk too much. So pick your spots. By turning down the volume you may turn up your credibility.

Follow these tips and you ought to ketchup with the rest of your group.

Working Wounded poll:

Do you get the respect you deserve at work? (2,245 responses)

• Yes, 22.7%
• Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t, 37.4%
• No, 39.8%

Working Wounded strategy:

Our winning strategy for getting respect at work comes from S.B. in cyberspace. “Sometimes I suspect it’s a bit of the old boy mentality trying to ignore ‘hen-talk,’ but there are also times I have to admit that I was hogging so much of the discussion that others are simply trying to hear each other for a change. Ask yourself: who in the group IS getting heard and respected? How valuable are their contributions? How are they expressing their ideas?  This may be a humbling experience, because it’s possible that superior suggestions are consistently coming from your teammates, once you give them a chance to talk. Pay attention to the WAY people interact and what communication styles seem to get the most attention. Try adopting that approach so you’ll sound more like the kind of person who gets heard by your teammates.”

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. Sherrie Campbell is a relationship and business professional, having applied her counseling background in a variety of challenging organizational settings. They’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than they do. Also check out their complete column archive at workmash.org, “The Boss’s Survival Guide” and “Gray Matters: The workplace survival guide.” Send your questions or comments to bob@workmash.org.

How to prepare for a difficult conversation at work

Dear WW: I had a run-in with a coworker last week and now I need to sit down with her to clear the air. We haven’t gotten along for a while, so it’s not going to be easy. Any advice? TOUGH CALL

Dear TOUGH,

Your fax reminded me of a newspaper article I recently saw about a Hungarian couple who wanted to change places. I mean REALLY change places. So they checked into the Szekesfehervar Hospital and had dual sex-change operations. According to all reports, the newly minted he and she are now enjoying life as each other’s better half.

Now, that’s quite a bit further than most of us are willing to go to see something from another person’s viewpoint. But their story can remind us that we need to put energy into learning what’s on another person’s mind. The following strategies will help you clear the air by considering your opponent’s perspective. You’ll find more in “Difficult Conversations” by Stone, Patton and Heen (Viking, 1999).

Can you avoid trying to control the person’s reaction? YOU can’t get something off of someone ELSE’S chest. She’s got to do it herself-in her own way. If you try to control her reaction you’ll just make her angrier. So let her do what she’s got to do-whether it’s tears or obscenities. Then, when her emotion is spent, begin to talk your conflict out.

Can you consider the ways YOU’VE contributed to the problem? My mom was fond of a quirky saying: “When you point your finger at someone else, three of your fingers point back at you.” Eat a bit of humble pie and acknowledge how you’ve contributed to the conflict. If you can admit that you screwed up, you just might encourage your nemesis to do the same.

Can you view the situation from down the road? Have you ever had a blow-up with a person only to find, months later, that you couldn’t remember what the conflict was about? As I grow older I find that there’s something to be said for taking the long view. Sure, a few conflicts maintain themselves, but most have a way of fading over time. “This too shall pass” is not only the moral of a story; it’s a useful way to approach most business dealings.

Can you take a break? Things usually look different after a good night’s sleep. Now, I don’t mean procrastinate. I just mean give yourself time to sort things out. And while you’re at it, see if you can get an outsider’s viewpoint on what’s going on. It may stop you from tipping the gas can on a combustible situation.

Can you ask for help? If you’re really stuck, call in someone you both trust to listen to both sides and offer suggestions for how to break your logjam.

You might not have any interest in becoming your better half, but I think you’ll find that all your relationships will improve when you can bring yourself to really listen to another person’s half of the story.

Working Wounded poll:

How do you approach a difficult conversation at work?

• Just wait for them to bring it up, 11.2%
• Just avoid it, 16.4%
• Just do it, 72.3%

Working Wounded strategy:

Our winning strategy for dealing with an angry coworker comes from M.P. in Cyberspace. “One day my coworker lost it and blasted me. At the time, I didn’t know what her anger was about. I said, ‘I can see that you’re frustrated, let’s talk about it.’ She finally blurted out the problem and it had nothing to do with me. Our boss assigned the same project to me and to her. Once she found out that I had already been working on it, she was upset and thought that I was trying to undermine her. We ended up resolving the issue by sending our boss an email confirming the work he assigned to us so each of us would be aware of the other’s assignment. I learned the importance of thinking about the consequences to your actions before reacting, diplomacy goes a long way.”

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. Sherrie Campbell is a relationship and business professional, having applied her counseling background in a variety of challenging organizational settings. They’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than they do. Also check out their complete column archive at workmash.org, “The Boss’s Survival Guide” and “Gray Matters: The workplace survival guide.” Send your questions or comments to bob@workmash.org.

What to do when you get stuck during a negotiation

Dear WW: I’m involved in a negotiation that seems to be terminally stuck. Both sides are so entrenched in their positions that we’ve had to take a break in the negotiation to give everybody a chance to reconsider. But I still can’t see anyone budging. STUCK IN NEGOTIATING MUCK

Dear Stuck,

Talk about stuck in negotiating muck! I was once stuck in the middle of a negotiation in Thailand-caught between the driver of a Bangkok taxi and the mucky-muck of a big American bank. The mucky-muck was negotiating for a cab ride to our hotel, using every capitalist muscle she could muster-and the driver wasn’t budging. After they’d haggled, red-faced, for a full ten minutes, I pointed out to the banker that she was arguing over was the equivalent of seven cents. She got red-faced all over again and climbed quietly into the cab.

Well, as you’ve pointed out, you don’t have to be in Bangkok to get stuck negotiating. The following strategies will help you in any kind of negotiation, whether with a boss, a customer or even a Bangkok taxi driver. For more information check out Peter Senge’s Fifth Discipline Fieldbook (Currency, 1994).

Do you embrace the impasse? Often, when negotiators get stuck, they deny their own stuckness and keep rehashing their positions. But that only gets them stucker. It’s far better to sit back and say, “we’re stuck!” and then ask, “what do you think we should do about it?”

Do you know where you agree and disagree? Negotiations often sour because the two parties focus exclusively on areas of disagreement. Try focusing instead on your areas of agreement and shared goals. Focusing on the shared goal may highlight a path to get there, and remembering your areas of agreement may make traversing that path easier.

Can you bring in new information? Negotiations break down when the parties hash and rehash their positions, neither side adding anything new. When that happens do some research to bring in new information. If you’re negotiating over a service contract, investigate similar contracts for ideas. If you’re negotiating over salaries, talk to people in other companies to get a sense of comparables. New info almost always jumpstarts negotiations.

Can you ask, “What would change your mind?” It’s the most direct, most basic, question, yet most of us never ask it. More often than not it will open up a negotiating door that you otherwise might never notice.

Do you really listen to the other side’s concerns? All too often in negotiations we’re so busy preparing our rebuttal that we don’t fully hear what the other party said. But active listening-where you actually stop talking and planning and just LISTEN-can enable you to hear those small areas of agreement where deals can be struck.

It’s amazing how often negotiation get bogged down because people lose their common sense over a couple of cents. Keep your eyes on the big picture and you’ll get wherever you want to go.

Working Wounded poll:

What do you do when you get stuck negotiating with someone at work?

• Stuck is okay (I’m on salary), 14.2%
• Pressure them to solve the problem, 31.6%
• Put pressure on myself to solve the problem, 54.1%

Working Wounded strategy:

Our winning strategy for dealing with getting laid off comes from Kelly R. in Tacoma, WA. “When stuck, try focusing on facts instead of presentation or personalities. Get together, write the subject on a white board, brainstorm the root causes for it and brainstorm any and all solutions to combat the root problems. Once you have a board full of causes and solutions it is easier to focus on those words rather than on people or emotion. It makes it easier to move off your own position and also gives facts to spark discussions on aspects that maybe hadn’t been considered before.”

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. Sherrie Campbell is a relationship and business professional, having applied her counseling background in a variety of challenging organizational settings. They’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than they do. Also check out their complete column archive at workmash.org, “The Boss’s Survival Guide” and “Gray Matters: The workplace survival guide.” Send your questions or comments to bob@workmash.org.

How to deal with pressure tactics during a negotiation

Dear WW: I’ve got to negotiate a new contract with one of our largest customers. I’m a good negotiator but this guy has a reputation for playing games and using a lot of pressure tactics. Is there anything you can do when an important customer has the reputation as an unfair negotiator? TIRED OF PLAYING GAMES

Dear TIRED,

Vivian Parson, who was 76, and her daughter Vivian Bryant, who was 54, were surprised when neighbors started complaining about an odor emanating from their home. They didn’t smell a thing. Tampa (FL) city officials did, however, and after an investigation, condemned and demolished the house. It seems that over 1,000 rats had also set up housekeeping on the premises. When asked about her rodent roomates the younger Vivian replied, “to be honest, we didn’t notice them.”

Well, the Vivians couldn’t smell a rat but apparently you can, and you think you’ve got one in your upcoming meeting with your customer. To help you better negotiate this challenge, I turned to “Roger Dawson’s Secrets of Power Negotiating” (Career Press, 1995), a great resource whether you’re negotiating a multi-million dollar deal or haggling with your boss about your next vacation. The questions below will help you identify and cope with the pressure tactics your opponent is most likely to use. Ask yourself each one as your negotiation proceeds.

Am I being given an ultimatum? Is your opponent saying things like, “The shipment must arrive by noon tomorrow”? If so, test the ultimatum. Ask if part of the shipment can be delivered then with the rest coming at a later date.

Am I being handed a hot potato? Is your opponent claiming that he doesn’t “have it in the budget” or that he “can’t authorize this type of purchase”? Those are two classic ways in which a negotiator tries to make HIS problem YOUR problem. Don’t accept those statements as absolutes. Instead, ask if the negotiator has authority to exceed his budget or if she can arrange a meeting with the person who is calling the shots.

Am I running out of time? According to Roger, 80% of concessions occur in the last 20% of the negotiating time. To avoid these last minute potential deal-breakers, avoid pushing off details for later in the session when the pressure on everyone is high. The more problems you solve early on, the fewer you’ll potentially give in on at the 11th hour.

Am I working without all the information I need? Is the negotiator saying things like, “We have a policy against doing that”? If so, don’t see that statement as a roadblock. Ask your opponent to explain the relevant policy in detail. By playing dumb you may get the information you need to keep the negotiation on track.

Roger’s tips should help you sniff out a rat in any negotiation. And hopefully the deal you cut will make you a big cheese back at the office.

Working Wounded poll:

What is the toughest kind of pressure you face at work?

• Money pressure, 12.8%
• Pressure from not having enough info, 37.8%
• Time pressure, 49.3%

Working Wounded strategy:

Our winning strategy for handling pressure tactics at work comes from Earl L. in Toronto, Canada. “First thing is to remember that if you aren’t prepared to walk away from the negotiation you are not negotiating. You are simply stating a request and hoping for the best. You need to have a “walk away” position. Perhaps the best way to handle pressure tactics is with your own pressure tactics. If you can create the sense of urgency to act (for example “I need an answer today or I’ll offer this deal to your competitor) you can increase their level of interest.”

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. Sherrie Campbell is a relationship and business professional, having applied her counseling background in a variety of challenging organizational settings. They’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than they do. Also check out their complete column archive at workmash.org, “The Boss’s Survival Guide” and “Gray Matters: The workplace survival guide.” Send your questions or comments to bob@workmash.org.