How to get results quietly

Dear WW: I’m a new manager and I don’t want to be the kind of heavy-handed boss I’ve always struggled against. Any tips on how to be effective as a boss without “bossing” people around? LIGHT TOUCH

Dear LIGHT,

Japanese shopkeeper Akira Ishiguro was tired of “teasers,” shoppers who came and fingered his merchandise with no real intention of buying. So he decided to punish the offenders. The next time a woman touched everything and bought nothing, he made her get down on her knees and apologize. The next time he got tougher. When a woman lingerer started to leave the store, he locked her in until she agreed to buy something.

I guess that’s one way to get results-but probably not for long. Ishiguro would do better to follow the advice of Lily Tomlin, who once asked, “Why don’t we ever ask people to try softer?” That’s good advice for managers, too. You can usually accomplish more with subtle nudges than you can with heavy hammers. Ask yourself the questions below. Then, for more strategies, check out “Power of Indirect Influence” by Judith Tingley (Amacom, 2001).

Can you play dumb? Managers don’t like to look dumb, but that can be one of your best “lightening up” tools. Instead of blowing in like a hurricane and blasting people with directions and information, ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS. You’ll be amazed at what people already know. And your employees will appreciate your respect and deference to their knowledge.

Can you model the behavior you’d like to see? I got an email from someone who worked in an office where everyone left early and was constantly goofing off. Everyone except Mary. Believe it or not, Mary gradually changed everyone else’s behavior-simply by modeling the behavior everyone knew they should be doing. Leading by example does work.

Can you use storytelling and metaphors? There’s a reason why ever since cave paintings people have communicated with stories and metaphors. Stories move people. They make points far more powerfully and memorably than a lecture. The key, however, is to keep your stories and metaphors on point. Stray into pointless storytelling, and the exact opposite happens, you’ll lose credibility quickly.

Can you use humor? Humor is a great way to both disarm people and to get them to remember what you’re saying. So don’t leave your humor at home. That makes the workplace a duller place and makes you less effective.

Do you know your own personal competitive advantage? We all bring unique skills and strengths to the workplace. What are yours? Interpersonal? Strategic thinking? Creative problem solving? Patience? Don’t be excessively humble. Know where you add value and play to that strength every chance you get at work.

Our Japanese shopkeeper gives whole new meaning to the phrase “shop ‘till you drop.” If you don’t want your credibility to drop, follow these tips for exercising your influence subtly.

Working Wounded poll:

What is the best way to influence someone at work?

• It’s pointless to even try, 17.4%
• Try harder, 23.2%
• Try softer, 59.3%

Working Wounded strategy:

Our winning strategy for influencing people at work comes from Pat H. in Springfield, IL. “I have concluded that the best strategy for influencing people at work is by setting an example.  Work hard, compliment when it’s justified, don’t be too hard on yourself or others, be sincere and considerate, listen to constructive criticism and try not to get too involved in office politics. Lastly, enjoy your work or find a job that makes you happy…. life is short!”

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. Sherrie Campbell is a relationship and business professional, having applied her counseling background in a variety of challenging organizational settings. They’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than they do. Also check out their complete column archive at workmash.org, “The Boss’s Survival Guide” and “Gray Matters: The workplace survival guide.” Send your questions or comments to bob@workmash.org.